Some Thoughts

A power nap is when you sleep on someone who's weaker than you...

I went whale watching once... It was very similar to watching people on a boat become disappointed... we did a lot of whale-thinking-about that day...

a mobile home with a flat tire is a home...

if you can't tell the difference between a spoon and a ladle, then you're fat...

I want to put stickers on turtles, I don't know why. I just know that's the best kind of animal for advertising your band in nature...

I have a time-machine. It only goes forward at regular speed. It's essentially a cardboard box that I wrote "time machine" on in Sharpie...

How fast does a zebra have to go before it looks gray?

I've met many chocoholics but I've never seen any Chocohol. We've got an epidemic - people that don't understand the rules of word endings... they're probably over-workahol-d...

They call it fishing... but they should call it what it really is: "tricking and killing"...

Hiking is just walking where it's ok to pee...
(sometimes old people hike by mistake)

I want to commit a crime during a re-enactment. Turn it into an enactment...

"Hot Potato" is a very different game when the people playing are starving. Then it's more like "My Potato." Burned fingertips and I don't care... free potato!

I used to get upset when it rained... then I realized it's God's way of washing off hippies.

I think they should put pies on the front of trains, that way when they hit something at least it's a bit funny.
"He's dead sergeant, but there's a cream pie right in his face"

I love birthdays... You get a cake for every year that you're alive. When I see a new baby I'm like "Yes! Please survive. I like chocolate!"

Cakes are the only food we write on. It's always so encouraging.
"Happy Birthday Leo, Congratulations Dennis"
I feel like we're missing an opportunity - I'm talking about negative cakes.
"Surprise! You're adopted"
Cause that's when you want cake.

Game, set, match = Tennis
Set, match, run = Arson

I like video games but they're very violent. I want to design a video game in which you take care of all the people who've been shot in all the other games.
"Hey man what are you playing?"
"Super-Busy Hospital" "Please leave me alone. I'm performing surgery on a man who was shot in the head 57 times."

If somebody asks you the question "are you ticklish?" it doesn't mater whether you say yes or no, they’re going to touch you.
If they say "are you ticklish" and you don't want to be touched you have to say something like. "I have diarrhea, and yes, I'm very ticklish"

If I ever saw an amputee being hanged... I would just yell out letters...




(Thanks Demetri)

I Realize This May Sound Harsh, but...

Sometimes I wish I didn't have to call myself a Christian.

Allow me to explain...

It's about the association of the term, not it's actual meaning. I mean that I see how we Christians act and it breaks my heart. I don't mean ones that smoke or drink or say naughty things... this is small by comparison.

But the ones who completely misrepresent who Jesus is and what He stood for.

I wish I didn't have a TV so I didn't have to see this crap.

(Yeah, yeah... "Just turn it off then Chris")

But the damage is done.
"In the name of Jesus!" is what the man in the infomercial says - over and over.
"In the name of Jesus, order this miracle spring water"
"In the name of Jesus, this woman's house was paid for!"
"In the name of Jesus, your finances will be taken care of!"
"In the name of Jesus, miracle money!"
Does he know who's name He's using?

It sickens me. I think I am quite literal about that too. I honestly feel sick to my stomach. All I can hear is Jesus saying...
"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of God."
His words echo in my sleepless heart...
"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." "No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money."
Since when did we decide that Jesus is part of a get-rich-quick scheme?
Since when did we decide that God's blessing is money and only money?

Paul said "For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil." Did we forget that? Did we ever really believe and heed it?

I wonder if we actually believe in God when we act like this. The god of money, the god of the infomercial, the god of the Christian top 20, the god of the shopping mall, dare I say that the god of the United States is not the God that I've read about. This is not the God I want to serve.

This is not the Jesus that has saved my life.

We worry about hot-button issues. Who can marry who, who can we vote for? However, we forget that our hearts have become like stone - filled with greed and hate. That's what Christ has come to save us from.

I find it almost fitting that this "Christian" infomercial is right before another infomercial for (ahem) "Male enhancement"

(don't worry, the TV is off now-haha)

No wonder God calls us an "adulterous generation." He's not talking about cheating on each other. He's talking about us betraying Him for something that will only satisfy for a "one-night-fling"

He's talking to us Christians.


Lord help us.


I hope I haven't been too harsh or offensive. I think I'm blowing up inside about this and I just can't handle it anymore. I honestly don't think I'm mad. All I can feel is despair and pain over this.

Lord save us from ourselves...

Lilikoi is Sweet

Really, I know that I talk about it a lot but it is true. Lilikoi is very sweet. However there is a slight bitter tang to it that can't really be described. The flavor swirls around your mouth enveloping all sorts of sensations that are unable to be described by any words you or I could come up with. You just have to take it all in and call it lilikoi.

Of course I am not here to talk about passion fruit or any of its products such as, sorbet, cake, or even juice for that matter. It is good though.

However good it may be…

I am here to talk about our time in Hawaii.

I write this on our second to last night. I do so only because the only opportunity to upload it will be tomorrow, Thursday, our last full day. Tonight is sort of surreal. Today may have been the most beautiful day out of the two weeks that we have called Hawaii home. We saw beautiful waters and creatures, scenic vistas of Maui and hillsides. We also once again saw the wonderful aloha of the people here. Our time here is coming to a close and it is very much like lilikoi. It is very sweet, but there is something that can't be described at work here. Whatever it is, it overwhelms you and moves you in ways that could not be crammed into any words you or I could come up with. You just have to take it all in and call it Hawaii.

Lord, bless it. Continue to be at work here.

Makapala, Kapa’au Town, & Kohala

To me… right now… It's late.

Now those of you that know me know that 10:30 is usually not all that late for me.

Usually…

Right now though, I am seriously out of it. I can hardly move. Between dancing and singing with 30 kids for 3 hours and helping put in sub-floor in the hot sun, I am pooped and drained of anything once recognizable as energy.

Energy is a funny thing. One second you're going full bore and the next you hardly can stand.

Today was one of those days.

VBS is going great. As I mentioned earlier, there are about 30 kids coming to VBS at the Makapala Retreat Center which is across the street from our job site and Kohala Baptist Church. The kids are full of energy and are quite entertaining most of the time. I am in charge of the music rotations this week and we have already learned 3 songs. Tomorrow is "The ABC Strategy". It should be pretty cute as far as kids songs go. I am fully prepared to have these songs stuck in my head for the next year or so. All of that means that I will have to do VBS next year to get more songs stuck in my head to push the old ones out.

Our building has slowed. Unfortunately, we aren't going to be able to put up the walls this trip. Well we could build them but all that would happen is that they would twist and warp in the wind and rain. So for now, we have to clean it all up and finish putting primer on the wood so it won't get damaged before the next team comes. It's kind of a bummer but that's the way it goes sometimes. Ok, I am falling asleep. Goodnight

Aloha a hui hou!

Hilo, Laupahoehoe, Kilauea, Kona, & the Pu’uhonua o Honaunau

Well, the last few days were a fairly good, albeit wet time. After our breakfast of Malasadas and Manapuas, we spent Saturday traveling around the island on the tail end of a storm. Cosme left us many streams and waterfalls to look at that were bulging with rainwater. Unfortunately, we weren't able to see many of the scenic vistas because of all of the fog in the way. We stopped and saw some waterfalls and then I tried to get myself washed out to sea at Laupahoehoe (Law-Pah-Hoy-Hoy) Point. The waves were marvelous there as they broke across the rocks (and almost me). We then went to Hilo where we had a good lunch that stuffed us quite well. After lunch, and an excruciatingly long amount of time listening to K-Love while in the parking lot of W'al'-M'ar't and Hilo Hattie's we finally were on our way to the volcano. We actually saw an eruption that swept away a few homes from the hill below us…

Just kidding…

Actually, the lava at the volcano has stopped flowing to the ocean since June. Now, after a series of earthquakes referred to as "Episode 56" the lava has begun to build up in a place called the Pu'u O'o crater. That's pretty cool if you ask me. However, it is kind of boring as far as a hike is concerned seeing s all of the trails into that area are closed due to "activity". It was pretty fun walking to the end of the dark, scary lava tube though. We found a dyslexic dragon named Dagron in there. Not to mention the fact that we all made shadow puppets with our flashlights… Ok, it was just me. It seriously rains inside of the lava tube because of all of the water dripping through the earth. Oh yeah, there are huge puddles that must be crossed inside the tube… wet describes it to a "t".

We had a good dinner at Ken's House of Pancakes. Matt had a Sumo Burger. He ate the whole thing plus the onion rings. SUMO!!! I just don't get it. I could hardly finish it when I was here last time.

Sunday.

Sunday was a good time too. We went to church where a pastor from Waikoloa spoke. Then the church ohana (family) in Waimea made us lots and lots of 'ono kine' grinds. It consisted mostly of rice and pork, both foods that broke tha' mouth. There was some sushi stuff and then this layered sort-of Jell-O thing which was 'ono. Then we went to Kailua-Kona where we went to the International Marketplace where there was a lot of stuff to buy that was mostly for malehinis which made me happy that I have no cash. We then traveled downtown so some of us could shop… some more. After that we went to the Pu'uhonua o Honaunau, or the Place of Refuge. As soon as we got out of the car we were soaked. It was raining like crazy but with Hoku and her sister Kamele as our tour guides, we were fine. It was actually a surreal sort of place where the King used to live and where warriors would go if they were defeated or broke the kapu, the law proscribed by the king. It's neat. I approve of it. Apparently there was a sea turtle laying its eggs on the beach there. Missed it though.

The trip home was restful and we arrived to a wonderful sunset at Waimea. Leftovers for dinner and then sleep.

Good weekend. Good times.

 

Aloha a hui hou kakou!

Goodbye until we see each other again!